truth

so this year i spent Christmas by myself in bed with strep.  I'm finally feeling better and was thinking about how much it sucked being alone.  

then i realized that i wasn't just saying the right thing when people asked me what i loved about Christmas.  The thing i missed the most this year was not being able to being with my family (aunts, auncles, cousins, grandparents,etc...).  

Our schedule is chaos, but after spending it alone, i wouldn't trade it for the world.  I love getting to see all sides of our families.  

thats all. 

New Christmas tradition

Okay, so normally i take the week between Christmas and New years off because our schedule is so crazy and i just want time to breath. well, because of all the snow days we’ve had, i’ve been fairly relaxed this season.

Well, normally i get sick as soon as i take a day off because i think my body finally catches up to my schedule. This year it came early. I am officially diagnosed with step throat. i felt it coming on the other day and then it hit me like a ton of bricks on Christmas eve. I was running a temp of 104 (that is my guess). and we went to the ER because that was the only place open. When i checked in, my temp was 102.7 and that was after tylenol 1 hour earlier. So yeah, i’m officially bedridden for Christmas this year. Which sucks because i love getting to see my family and the traditions we have.

on a good note though, i will get to watch the NBA doubleheader tomorrow since i can’t go anywhere. (Celtics vs lakers, and spurs vs suns).

well, have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Famiy Pictures

this fall, we had a friend of ours take some new family pictures for us.  he is trying to start his own company and offered to waive the sitting fee since we knew him and all we had to do was tell people where we got them done at.  

His Name is Jesse Inskeep, here is his blog   and here is his website.

please check him out and remember him if you have a photo op you would like captured. 

now, here's the pictures. (click HERE to see them) 

LOST

Okay, so i've recently been addicted to the show LOST and i believe i just experienced a nightmare because of them.  I just dreamed that the boys were kidnapped, i knew who took them, but i didn't know where they were.  This dream felt so real that i actually woke up crying and now i'm wide awake at 4:30.  I hate it.

stuck

it’s that simple. i’m stuck. having a hard time getting motivated, i’m not retaining anything that i read, and i’m having a hard time figuring out where to begin.

it's official

it’s amazing how much you take for granted different things when you have them and then lose them. this is pretty shallow, but we haven’t had internet in our house for the past 2 months because of our attempt at using a verizon wireless internet card. (for those who don’t know, we racked up a bill over $450 in one month because we went over our downloading allowance). So we went without internet for a couple months as we played catch up.

Well, since our recent move, we have been able to get internet at the house again and it is a wonderful thing. I know Amber is excited because now she can get back into her blog world, and do the little checking of things as she thinks of them.

So yeah, i know its shallow, but it is wonderful to have internet at the house again.

The Move

this past weekend i we moved to our new home in Andover, IL.  We are still renting, but it is a lot less / month for rent.  I felt guilty asking specifically for help from people so i did just a blanket request via facebook and myspace.  thankfully we had some great help on Saturday and a family from the church let us borrow their truck on Friday so i could run loads to the new place while Amber was at work.  then someone else from the church let us borrow their covered work trailer on Saturday...huge trailer.

Because of such a quick turn around, Amber and i decided to just move all the little things over throughout the week.  We had these plastic bread bins and just kept filling those and then emptying them as we got to the house.  So when it came to Saturday, we had mostly large items and got them all but our grill in one trip.  

Yesterday our new landlords came over and informed us that if we can get our rent in before the 10th of the month, they will shave another $25 off of our rent!!!  super huge blessing.  

so that's about it...  looking forward to the "day of elasticity" on Thursday or as you normal people call it, thanksgiving.  

have a good one.

Informational meeting

I got to meet my new 8th grade girls team yesterday. it was a good time to briefly share what my expectations would be and to inform them of when tryouts will be. they seem to be a neat group of girls that are ready to work hard and have some fun.

the worst part of the meeting was that now i really want to hang out with them and get to know them before the season starts. I made the mistake of not getting their names while at the meeting. but luckily many of them are involved with the boys team so if i go to more games, i’ll get to know them that way.

i can’t wait for the season to begin.


ps...
​

i had to create a flyer with the tryout info on it and this is the image that i put on the top of the page. I didn’t have any colored paper and wanted something to catch their attention. the girls loved the flamingo’s and thought it was hilarious. I think i might have to try to re-incorporate this at the end of the year some how.

MercyMe concert

I had the opportunity to take my leadership team to the mercyme concert last Sunday for our Christmas party. It was a good time of fellowship and MercyMe provided a great opportunity for a worship experience. But unfortunately I sat in front a a group of rude, selfish people. As soon as i sat down i knew that this was going to be a rough seat. they were talking loudly through the opening band, trying to squeeze in and out of their isle...just annoying.

As soon as MercyMe came out everyone stood up, so i stood up. No more than 30 seconds later 2 ladies behind me taped me on the shoulder and asked if i could switch seats with my wife because they couldn’t see. here’s my problem with this...

1. i’m extremely self conscious about blocking peoples views and generally try my best to stay in the back or off to the side so i don’t block a view.
2. If i switched with my wife, i would be blocking the view for other people in their row.

So i just grabbed my coat and moved to an open area where no one was behind us for a couple rows. As the concert continued, the entire crowd sat down like a set of dominos. But some of us still wanted to stand up, so we did. then someone from behind us began yelling to sit down and then he actually came and told the guys next to us to sit down. This just added to my frustration and bitterness.

so i sat there during the entire concert trying to figure out what i wanted to say to these ladies that were originally behind me and asked me to move. I wanted them to feel bad for feeding into my insecurity.

Then out of the blue i get a text from 2 of my students who were at the concert with their grandma. one of them wanted to talk and didn’t want me to leave. She wanted to get saved. So i met them in the lobby and talked briefly, prayed with them and gave the young lady some scripture verses to read and what i’d like to see as her next steps might be.

as i walked back to our van, i started to chuckle at God because he knew what i wanted to do and he knew that if He didn’t intercede, i would say something and then regret it later.

All of this to say that God IS Good and He still cares about me.

Starfield Concert

this past Sunday (November 9), i took a small group of students to see a band named STARFIELD. I’ve heard them before and can say that they are one of my favorite bands. they are a great group of guys who love Jesus and write good worship songs. I’ve been struggling as of late and have not been able to just scream at the top of my lungs in an inspired worship opportunity. At the show, most of the students go to the front which left me in the back to spend some quality time in worship.

I’m not saying that I’m completely better, but the night helped me to let go for a brief time and remember how much i Love God and that i am not in control and that no matter where i’m at, what ever i’m doing, God is in control and has me where i’m at for a reason. I just wish he would let me in on it sometimes.

thanks Starfield for your obedience.

Just call me coach

okay, so in my last blog, i know 2 in one day... i’ll explain that to, i told you that i bought a new computer and that i’m SUPER excited about it. well the reason i was able to get it is because i was hired as the new head 8th grade girls basketball coach for Orion Middle school. I’m as excited about the coaching gig as i am the computer...if not more!!! one of my biggest passions is working with students. my other is basketball. i might not play a whole lot any more, but i love being able to teach and work with students at various skills that are needed for this game. Plus, i learned so many life lessons playing the game that i want to pass that on to students.

the other reason i’m excited is because i feel like i can have an impact on a least a small group of students and help them to understand that Basketball is fun and it’s not always about the win column at this age level. Evidently my season begins in December with tryouts and then games begin in January. I’ve got an assistant already and the principle and athletic director seem to be really cool and share my same feelings about this age level and the priority of teaching fundamentals and over emphasizing the win loss column.

now, part 2 of this, my blog frequency. one of the new programs i downloaded is called macjournal. this program will allow me to type an entry and the upload it when i’m in a wireless area. so now i can type and store instead of trying to remember when i’m by a signal. ya macs!

Gadgets

It has been a crazy past couple of weeks as we role through the beginning of November. towards the end of October i took a trip with some other pastors from the Evangelical free church to a conference in Michigan. It was a good experience to get to know some new faces and familiarize myself with the EFCA environment. Plus i didn’t have to drive, so that was almost worth it. Almost because the older i get the less flexible i get, the harder it is for me to climb into the back seat of a church van and sit for 4 hours.

Then on October 29, my son turned 7. Holy Crap! where did 1-6 go? He’s riding a bike, he tied his friends shoes at his party and he is figuring out how to work the Dish remote. good news is that he still needs help wiping his own butt. so we still feel needed from time to time. For his birthday we bought him a refurbished 8 gb itouch so he could listen to music or watch a movie on the bus. I brought a tear to my eye to watch him use it (he is a chip off the old block).

The other exciting thing was that we had a bon-fire for Caleb’s birthday and then invited both of the ministries we worked with over the past years out to catch up and hang out. it was a blast to see people again and to watch the 2 groups interact. all in all, good times!

But the reason for the blog title was because i was able to purchase a new macbook pro laptop for myself and i’m SUPER excited about it. i’ve spent the week transfering items from my old work computer, portable hard drive, and our imac. Now i’m trying to organize them and figure out what programs are out there for my mac. size wise, i got the 15“ because it is still portable, but i don’t have to use a magnify glass to see the screen. did i mention that i’m SUPER excited about it? i’ll explain in another blog how i could afford it... thats exciting also.

possibilities

Okay...so detroit was fun besides the fact that i couldn't keep anything inside of me all Friday.  I visited my "office" 9 times to do "paperwork."  It was brutal.  We went swimming in the morning after breakfast and then got ready for our day.  for lunch we went to Dave and Busters (a grown up's chucky Cheese) and had a good time.  I had to leave early since i wasn't feeling that great, but the boys and Amber had a good time.  Caleb was all over the place and didn't know what to do with himself.  He had his own card with credits on it and didn't have to keep going back to mom and dad for tokens.  Both boys won a stuffed animal out of a claw machine (bumbs).  

the wedding was beautiful and my boy got married.  so congrats to the tim and lisa bollinger (they don't read this but oh well).  we got lost going to the reception, curse you google maps, and after we arrived we had to demonstrate how to kiss for the newly weds and then they mimicked us (they did this every time people tinked their glasses).  At our table were some buddies of mine from NCU and it was good trying to catch up with them over the noise.  Amber discovered that one of their wives had to take digestive enzyems as well so they were comparing pills.  

on the way home we stopped and visited with my buddy and his family in the northwest corner of Indiana.  We go way back to our freshman year of college where we were in a freshman orientation group and have stayed friends ever since.  We played ball together as well.  He has 4 kids and the oldest boys were Caleb and Joshua's age, so they hit it off right away.  Amber and Sheryl (sorry if i spelled it wrong) were able to finally talk face to face instead of comments on their blog pages.  After the park we got a bite to eat and my buddy blessed us by buying dinner.  It was was a very pleasant surprise.  

So all in all a good week and i get to go back to Michigan next week for my first E. Free conference with Pastor Doug and several others.  Kind of nervous since it's my first one and people haven't been to kind when talking about our conference the church is a part of. 

PEACE!   

still here

so right now my internet time is limited to my office because of our humongous bill from verizon.  you see, since we live in the boon docks we have to try internet alternatives and i'm not a huge fan of DSL.  So we tried a verizon card and the lady at the store says her dad has it and does all sorts of music and gaming online and he's never gone over the limit they set.  So we tried it and luckily, i got our bill on the 30th day of our trial period.  officially our bill was $456 from verizon.  if you didn't guess, we went over our allowed mb download.  after i recovered from the shock, i realized that every email that we download goes towards our limit and we do a lot of emailing.  then on top of that downloading documents and such, we well exceeded the 7mb limit they set.  so as soon as we get that paid off, we can try to figure out if we can afford internet at the house or if we have to live off of the internet service at the church.  

other than that, not much else going on.  a good friend of mine is getting married next week so amber and i are taking the boys to detroit for that.  should be fun.  they are talking about purchasing me a new laptop at the church and if God willing it will be a mac book.   but otherwise still in the desert, still feel distant, not as frustrated, but still bogged.  the worst part is that i feel very unproductive and that drives me nuts.  i want to see results from a hard days work and i don't get that right now.  luckily, i have several yard projects at home and am seeing results from that. 

keep praying for me, because right now i don't feel like running, but walking and that is stretching it.  

transitions

okay, okay, okay.... so i haven't posted as much as i initially wanted, but thankfully i have good friends that aren't afraid to bust my chops and call me out on my word...and then laugh at me.  

so the past month has been a roller coaster for me personally.  everyone keeps asking how it's going and i can say good, but part of me feels like that is only half of it.  I really want to say great, but once again i feel like i'm in a world of transition.  With Chainglink i was always transitioning and i mean always.  wether it was a new pastor (i worked with 7 different ones in 5 years), or new board members and trying to bring them up to speed on what is going on, or with the merger, and then the transition called adolescence and all that goes with working with students.  

now i joined a community that is in the early stages of doing an entire constitutional rewrite, developing a mission statement, and figuring out how to move into the next phase of the communal life.  Some think that this would be a good place to be, but in all honesty, i just want some stability.  But if a can't have stability, at least keep moving forward.  I hate stagnation and meeting about meetings and then waiting until the next meeting so someone can give a report for the committee that was formed out of the prior meeting.  That is what drives me nuts about the church as a whole today.  we want to meet about everything and take the longest, slowest route possible.  RUN!!! 

If you couldn't tell, i'm really frustrated in general and then throw on top of that, i'm wrestling with bitterness in my life about how everything was handled at Chainglink and the fact that my gut was right about my situation and i opted to not listen to it and the only thing that happened was i got burned.   

Then, i don't feel like my relationship with God is doing all that great right now.  I love Jesus, but i am going through a pretty dry spell right now and just feel like i'm wandering in the desert.   i'm not looking for the promised land, i just want the pillar of fire, or dust, or just that still small voice speaking to me through all that is going on around me.  

alright, that's all for now.  for updates on the family, please check out Amber's page because i don't want to steal our families thunder and let her post about the exciting things happening in our family.  

God bless. 

Joshua started school

i don't want to take to much of Amber's blogging topics, because she is itching to blog about our move and other items.  but i did want to post a picture that was taken at Joshua's first day of school.  I love my boys.  

later

It's so hard to say goodbye

Yep... i quoted "boys II men"  from the 90's.  

Sunday starts the week that we officially close this chapter in our lives and move on to our next adventure...Osco.  Sunday Riverside is doing a farewell coffee hour in between services and then Wednesday is my farewell party at the Furnace and then on Saturday we move out of the house that we have been extremely blessed with for the past 5 years.  

We loved our house (even though it wasn't technically ours).  We brought Joshua home to this house and basically the boys have grown up here.  I can still remember the day we took our first tour with Pastor Jan and when we walked in, Caleb took off running with his arms above his head and yelling.  It was kind of like he was testing the place... and it passed with flying colors.  

Our new home will be drastically different.  As I sit here at 12:30 in the evening, i bet more cars will pass in the next 30 minutes than the entire day at our new place.  We are the proud owners of a propane tank in our back yard and well water that is not recommended for drinking.  The house is warming up to me each time i visit it.  We will have to make some adjustments / changes, but the worst part is...it's still not ours.  I really would like to own my home someday and be able to retire before i'm 60.  The last goal on my list is to not be one of those Pastors that just doesn't know  when to throw in the towel.  

Interesting conversation at church today, please keep me in your prayers.  

God, Help me to keep running forward...no matter what.

Next steps

office organized?  check

place to live?  check

reigns handed over?  check

alright...i think it's time for me to get down to the nitty gritty.  I've been here for 2 weeks now and i'm still not feeling like i have a grasp on the situation.  I don't know who are regulars, who my leadership team is, and where students are from.  When i took this position, they did not have a database for me to browse through or a list of who the leaders are.  

right now the church is participating in an area wide choir event and they practice at 7 every sunday.  I haven't seen the same group of adults there for 2 weeks in a row and over the summer they have college students that blend in very well with the students.  

wish me luck as i dive into this thing we call ministry.  I'm excited and nervous all at the same time.  

slacking already

Here i am not even a week into my new blogging adventure and i've already missed days.  

anyway, i've been pretty much locked in my new office for the past week.  if you have ever worked around me you know how OCD i can be about my office.  

- The book shelves didn't go all the way across the wall

- Chair rail that stopped halfway across

- Butt nasty bulletin board

- beat up filing cabinets and a misc counter top and cupboards 

- old 2 candle wall sconce that was burned out and not centered

so over the past week, with Kim Roomes help, 

--i have taken all furniture out of my office and the church has allowed me to purchase 2 new filing cabinets that match

- i bought a flat door and am using that for a desk (i seen it on a decorating show and it is what i had at my old office)

- removed chair rail and bulletin board, filled holes and painted

- removed old wall sconce 

- bought new shelving racks and shelve so it is a little more even (didn't work out exactly, but i'm happy with the results)

today i'm organizing all of my books and putting things away and hanging my pictures

tomorrow i'm buying a love seat from a friend and putting that in my office

hopefully i'll have pictures or a video of it when i'm done.  

thankfully the church painted it before i moved in and i really like the colors (they asked my opinion before they did it).  

 

Home hunting

today was a good day until we had to go and look at some houses.  We spent the afternoon swimming at my dads house and then in the evening we looked at 2 places in Orion...and that is when reality set in.  

Both of the places we looked needed a lot of work and were already asking over our pre-approved level.  we are trying to continue to walk in faith, but i don't know how many more steps i can take. this has already been a trying 7 months and i'm not really in the mood to deal with it to much longer.

God continue to direct me, and help me to continue to follow you no matter what is at 31 feet.

A new Era

Today was officially my first day unemployed by Chainglink.  I think i'm currently employed by OCC, but i don't start until Sunday or Monday.  I don't know...What i do know is that i moved all of my books and office things into my new office today.  By no way are things settled...just out of boxes.

one of my goals with this new job is to try and blog each day.  I've always wanted to be a journaler, but just can't do it.  I figure if i do a blog, then people can help me continue/hold me accountable.  

the question i've been asked the most in the past week has been... "are you excited about your new job?"  I've finally decided that question being asked right now is like asking someone who is still in the hospital after giving birth to their child if they want another one.   Now, if you have asked me this question and for some freak reason your reading this, it doesn't bother me.

my answer to this question seems to catch some off guard... No, i'm not really excited about this new position right now.  i am going to miss my leaders and the students.  I will miss some people from the churches, while i won't miss others.  But i do believe that this is where God wants us.  Our prayer through this whole thing has been  "THY will be done, not ours."  So God's plan calls for us to minister to the community of Osco Community Church and it's surrounding area and I will do that to the best of my abilities.   

I still don't know what the students are like and what my new leadership team consists of or what their interests are outside of youth ministry.  I'm very much a "do life together" kind of guy and i'm interested to see how this all will play out.

God, i'm not ready, but what's next.  Let me run like a rhino.

My son gets it

I am so proud of my boys.  The other day they were looking through a christian "ABC" picture book and when it came to the letter "C" it was a picture of a building (it represented the church).  Joshua paused at the picture and didn't give a response. 

Amber - "what it was?"

 

Joshua - "a building?"

Amber - "well it's supposed to be the church."

Joshua - "that's weird."

Amber - "yeah, but what is the church?"

Joshua - "WE ARE"

I'm so proud of my son for getting it at the age of 4.